We had a small party to celebrate our twin girls turning
three on Friday, January 23. I was
feeling a bit nostalgic and began perusing the many pictures of our twins that
we have accumulated in that short period of time. Before we became pregnant, we tried for almost
two years to have children. At one
point, my wife looked at me with tears in her eyes and in frustration blurted
put, “Maybe God doesn’t want me to have children!” and then buried her face
into my chest as I embraced her tightly to me.
As I held her tightly, I quietly pondered to myself, “Maybe God doesn’t
think I deserve it”. One night in a
small church in eastern Illinois, we asked the pastor if he would pray over
us. We were out of options. He called us forward and asked many of the
members of the church to pray along with us and for us. No one knew the reason, except for the
pastor, April, and I. We didn’t know
what to do. All we had was hope. Hope that God heard us. Hope that God will answer us. We continued on with our life. I was still working a full time job as well
as in the teen ministry of the local church and April was busy with her large
client base who were preparing for the last days of school and finalizing the
plans for their trips. One day
approximately a month after the request for prayer, I received a text message
while I was at work. It was a
picture. I was stunned. All the signs were there but we had been
disappointed before. This time there was
no disappointment. The pregnancy test
revealed that she was pregnant. I ran
outside and joyfully screamed and shouted.
Yes, God did want her to have a baby.
Yes, God did think I deserve a child.
My past is far from picture perfect.
I have made many mistakes. And
now, I find myself on the receiving end of a miraculous gift that I never thought
possible. That is the picture of
grace. Grace is receiving a gift that we
do not deserve. A visit to the doctor
confirmed that April was in fact pregnant.
The day before we were to live for a weeklong trip to Yellowstone
National Park in Wyoming and Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, April began having
some complications. We both entered
panic mode. After going to the doctor, I
did the only thing that I knew to do. I
was not ready for this disappointment.
Not after we had been further than we have ever been. As she came to get me to inform me of the
progress, I noticed the stunned look on her face. She handed me a piece of paper with a blurry
image. I did not know what to make of
it. After a few minutes, she pointed to
a kidney bean shape image and said, “Baby A”.
Suddenly my paternal instincts kicked in and I cooed to the little image
that she pointed out as “Baby A”. I
chuckled and laughed and cried. She
pointed to another kidney bean image and said, “And there is Baby B”. Ready to coo to “Baby B”, the reality sunk
in. We are going to have 2. I turned the volume of my hearing aid up and
looked at her so that I can read her lips and understand what she really
said. My mouth dropped as I watched her
lips form the word “twins”. We were
having twins. All is well. The grace of God was more than we could ever
expect. In the way that God has shown
grace and forgiveness to the mistakes of our past when we ask for it, do we do
the same for others? Showing grace to
others, even those who do not deserve it benefits us more than it does others.
Let your speech always be with grace… (Colossians 4:6)
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