Brought to Belleview - Where I Belong

Life was good for April and I.  I was busy with a job and serving as a teen leader in a local Nazarene church.  I had been asked on more than one occasion to fill in the pulpit and we had twins on the way.  For some reason, in my heart, it was not enough.  I had spent countless hours debating with God about preaching.   Was it evangelism He desired for me or pastoring.  In time, that burning desire being placed there by the Holy Spirit had been dampened as I became distracted with the coming twins, my website ministry, my job, and of course working with the teens.  My plate had become too full.  I was stretched too thin.  I told April that it was going to be my last year working with the teen program.  For 16 years I have worked with youth programs in various churches in North Carolina and Illinois.  During that time I have been privileged to be invited to preach in several states and to share my testimony.  God was good to me.  I loved the group of teens that I was serving but I was getting tired.  The desire placed in my heart had all but flickered out.  Whatever desire I had to speak was momentarily satisfied by the opportunity to teach Sunday School.  I must confess, I almost approached it more like a pulpit than a podium.  In the words of my wife, “You got a bit “preachy” in Sunday School today”.  I chuckled.  It was still there, I just ignored it.  As I filled in for the pastor during a Sunday evening service, April said something to me that I could not ignore.  I tried, but her words pierced me to my very heart.  I can still see the tears in her eyes as she shared those words to me.  I can still hear the quivering tenderness in her voice as she spoke.  I can still feel the gentleness of her touch as she held my hand.  All those senses rushed deep within my soul and the Holy Spirit reminded me of a task I had long since ignored.  When she told me those words, I dropped my head for a moment before I turned away and gazed out the window of my car.  It can’t be.  It reminded me of the words told to me by my father five years before his passing.  Much like the words of my wife, the Holy Spirit used his words to pierce me to the very depth of my soul.  Could it be?  Is it possible?  For several days the words of my father from over 10 years ago and the words of April raged against everything within me.  I have learned the folly of saying no, but I still fought in vain.  The look on my father’s face.  The passionate soothing sound of his voice.  The tears that welled in the corner of his eyes still rang fresh to me.

“You know that God has called you to preach because it is burning deep inside of you”, my father said.  That was in 1991.

After I asked my wife what she thought of my sermon.  She responded, “That is where you belong”.