What do you do with what you know?

I was reflecting on a conversation that I had with a church member on a recent visit. She lamented that she did not know the Scriptures as much as some of the others within the church despite her daily reading of the Holy Scriptures. I told her how much I respected her desire to read daily the blessed Word of God. I reminded her of one simple yet profound truth: It is not what you know but what you do with what you know. Jesus taught that being a follower was not just about believing what He says, but also doing what He says.
 

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock.” (Matthew 7:24)

A true measure of spiritual success is not but how much Bible a person knows. In fact, a person could memorize and recite the whole Bible word for word from Genesis to Revelation (if that is possible), yet it still does not guarantee that the individual is right with God.

“Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.” (Matthew 7:26)

It is great to learn in Sunday School, morning worship, or even Wednesday night Bible study, but it can never impact you in a way that a personal Bible study can. A genuine personal Bible study is taking what you read and applying it to your life. True belief is not only believing what is said, but also applying what is said to your own life. Today, the case for personal Bible Study is even more necessary than ever. The very truth that we believe is being challenged and changed to fit certain agendas and preferences. We are finding “theological doctrines” that is inconsistent with the whole of the Word of God. Peter challenges us to give a ready defense for the hope that is within us (I Peter 3:15). To truly make what we believe and what we know ours, we must daily search for the unsearchable riches found in His Word and not only know what they are, but to believe what they are and ensure that they are very much a part of our lives. Remember, true spiritual blessings and living a life that impacts others around you does not rely on what you know, it is doing something in our life with what we know.

But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. (James 1:22-25)
 

I simply reminded her that anybody can know the Bible what the Bible says but that is not what matters to the heart of God. Knowledge of the Bible amounts to nothing when life's difficult circumstances come our way.  We will only be empowered and enabled by applying what we know to our life in those times.  What matters is that we take what we hear and what we know, apply it to our lives, let that truth genuinely change us inside and out, and living a life of obedience. That is true, genuine belief. That is the impact the Bible must have on us. Yes, anyone can know the Bible, but is their life consistent…..with all of it?

Blessings from Belleview: A Blessing Amid the Okras

My okras this year have been a huge success. They sprouted to almost 6 feet and have produced a bundle of okras for me this year. Over the last several weeks, I have watched a vine sprawl where a garden once struggled to grow. The leaves looked familiar. I have seen them somewhere. I decided to let it grow to see what it becomes. I watched it slowly crawl upwards, gingerly wrapping itself in a spiral around the sturdy stalks of the okra bush. Today as I ventured into the garden, I noticed splashes of blue among a green backdrop with a touch of white. I walked to the garden, I gently fingered the soft delicate blue petals of the morning glory plant that has grown and blossomed since the rains of Isaac 2 weeks ago. As I admired the handiwork of nature's beauty before me beneath the late summer afternoon sunlight, I could only ponder the lesson I was being taught by what I was seeing. Summer may be on its way out, but it does not mean the work of beauty has to be ended. For many, this past summer has been a struggle with the heat and the drought, but what remains behind us does not necessarily affect what is to come ahead of us. Especially if we don't allow it to. Soon, the lush green leaves of summer will give way to the vivid brushstrokes of reds, yellows, and orange amid the rocky bluffs between the Illinois and Mississippi River. Each color tinted and highlighted by the soon coming rays of the autumn sun. Yes, the growing season soon be over for many, but God's beauty is far from finished. I admired the beauty that was before me one last time, harvested my last watermelon and casually glanced to the crystal clear blue sky above me. I softly prayed a simple prayer and said, "I can't wait to see what is ahead". I walked away from the last of my garden more blessed than when I went in.

Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, (Philippians 3:13)

Brought to Belleview: The Visit to the Bluffs

     Belleview is an unincorporated community just a short distance from the Mississippi River.  Our first impression of the community was the shallow perception that there is nothing there for us.  Shopping was few and far between.  As we were allowed into the parsonage for our stay, we quickly compared our home to this place where the pastor stays.  With three kids in tow, we were quick to write off Belleview as the place for us.  The surrounding bluffs provided a wonderful and beautiful view, but we just couldn't find it within ourselves to choose this place, this house for us.  As day turned tonight and after had we enjoyed the delicious meal provided to us by the members of the church, I strolled over to the wood stove and lit a small fire to sit by on this bitterly cold night.  The thoughtful church members placed a television with some family movies for the kids along with some toys to play with to keep them occupied.  April and I sat in the living room and discussed what we thought so far.  This house would be asking us to give up a lot.  Were we willing to make that sacrifice?  As we readied the kid for bed and April went to the bedroom to sleep, I lingered behind by the wood stove for a quiet time of study and prayer for the next days service.  I opened the door to glance outside into the darkness.  There were no lights, save for a small light radiating from the house next door.  I glanced towards the partly cloudy skies and prayed just softly aloud, "Lord, only you know what is best for us.  We are in your hands."
     Sleep for me was short lived.  I woke up before the sun even began its tinting of the early morning hours.  I struggled to make sense of my direction in the darkness.  When my bearings had been gathered, I slowly ventured into the family room and at that moment, I felt a sharp searing pain rush through my shoulders.  I frantically reached for the light switch with one hand and held the painful shoulder with the other.  The light revealed to my surprise a wasp which had stung me twice.  I reached into the freezer and picked up a large cube of ice and placed in on the area where the fierce wasp had viciously stung me.  I picked up the Bible and began perusing through the notes and the text for the day's sermon and mumbled to myself that I will never return. 
     The service was fantastic.  The people were very receptive.  We enjoyed the presence of the Holy Spirit as He met with us in that small white church in the bluffs just a few hundred yards from the parsonage where we stayed.  A potluck dinner followed that morning service.  One thing for sure, these people knew how to cook.  I made my way through the small crowd that had gathered in the Lord's house that day and stayed for the potluck to meet them and to properly introduce myself to them.  They were curious to know more about me.  I answered any questions that they had for me.  It was a very friendly church.  The time had come for us to begin our journey back to eastern Illinois.  We gathered the kids and prepared them for the trip back home.  I bid farewell to the friendly group that we were now leaving.  As I shook their hands, one of the gentleman placed a check into my hands.  I quickly stuffed it into my pocket and continued with my farewells.  As I shook each hand, my mind was telling me that was the last time I would see them.  We pointed our van east, toward home and prayed a prayer for our safe travels.  I smiled at my wife and squeezed her hands.  She looked at me and said something which left me speechless.  I gazed into the mid-wintery bright blue sky with not a cloud in sight and pondered the last 24 hours among the bluffs: the living quarters, the wasp sting, and the morning's service and the potluck which followed.  What was she thinking when she told said that.  She said it with such confidence and conviction.  On that journey home, I replayed her words over and over in my mind.  Could she be right?  It was an image being replayed so vividly and crystal clear in my mind.  When we left Ohio, she told me she could see us in that church.  When we left Belleview, she told me, "God will lead us here".  How profound.

Brought to Belleview: Westward

There was no doubt in my heart that God was leading me to pursue a pastoral position in the church.  Minnesota was not on my list of places to look.  I wanted to go east.  As we returned the call to entertain our curiosity, we discovered that the call was actually from a regional office but the church was in western Illinois.  That was still not what I had in mind.  At first, I was quick to say no, but God would not give up so easily.  I was reminded of the words of a friend who I confided in, “Keep checking doors, keep checking doors, and when God shuts it, keep it shut.  If he keeps it open, keep walking until He shuts it”.  I had shut the door, God did not, I did. 

                A few days later I was in conversations with a church in Michigan that wanted me to preach.  They were concerned because they were afraid they could not afford me.  My reply to them was simply, “God will take care if it”.  He did.  We were blessed financially beyond our wildest dreams.  One thing that I have learned in my journey is that God in His vast infinite wisdom will oftentimes provide for our needs and care for our necessities through the unlikeliest of sources.  Michigan was another example of that.  We received a $100 gas card which could be used across the US and a visit to the post office for my daily mail revealed a financial blessing just 3 days after our return from Michigan.  It seemed to be an affirmation from God saying, “I’ve got you taken care of”.

                What about the call from Minnesota?  After much prayer and counsel, I returned to the door that I had shut and to my surprise saw that it was still open.  I was scheduled to visit the church two weeks after I spoke in Michigan.  God was lining up opportunities and opening doors for us as we sought His will.  We were humbled by His immeasurable grace in our lives.  Our family of five, much like every church I visited and preached were planning for another weekend trip, this time, for the first time, we were going west.

                Two days before our departure, my wife called me.  There was a problem with the van.  My heart sunk.  As I had her to explain to me what was happening, it was obvious the van would not make the trip west.  I prayed.  There were three options.  The first option was to cancel the trip.  I knew immediately this was not a viable option.  To do so would be to cancel the plans God has establish for our family.  The second option was for me to go alone in my truck.  I have never gone anywhere alone and was not necessarily up for another trip alone.  Also, it was an important weekend for my family and we knew that all five of us needed to go.  That lead us to our third option and one we chose.  Get the van repaired.  It wasn’t cheap.  I did not expect it to be.  There was one thing I knew.  God would take care of us.  He has continued to do so; we could not expect any less.  Friday morning, snow flurries trickled around us as the van was taken in for repairs.  I studied my message for Sunday and spent much in prayer about God’s will.  I was so excited about preaching, just like I am in every service, that I forgot the other purpose of the visit.  Is God leading us there? 

                On Saturday morning we awoke to a bitterly cold February morning.  A gusty wind compounded the freezing air as we loaded up the van.  The ground was lightly coated with Mother Nature’s wintry coating of snow.  With the five of us, inside and the heat cranked up a few notches; we bowed our heads and prayed.  Slowly, we backed our van down the icy driveway and navigated the unpaved village roads to the main road that had long since been plowed.  We turned our direction west.

A Line Being Drawn Through the Ages

Now what? It was an absolutely beautiful picture to see on the news images from around the country the long lines for Chick-Fil-A. I saw a video of a church group leading a stirring rendition of "God Bless America" in one NC Chick-Fil-A. It brought tears to my eyes. It must not stop there. Yesterday, as I followed along on Facebook, I could see a battle line being drawn. There is an old Gospel song that includes this phrase, "There's a line that's been drawn through the ages". That line is becoming clearer and clearer. The words of Paul to Timothy became clearer and clearer, I saw II Timothy 3 being played out. Even more sad are those who profess religion but have no godliness muddy the waters. I have heard in the pulpit over the years and have discovered it to be true, "Having religion does not mean being a Christian". My wife and I have already talked about supporting Chick-Fil-A wherever we go and whenever we can. It must not stop there. We also talked about our children. We talked about the future. We read II Timothy 3 together. We cried. We prayed. We shared the earnestness of our heart together and with God. I read a survey the other day that said only 14% of the American parents believe that their children will be better off than the parents were. The reasons that were stated were numerous: economy, freedom, etc. I have another reason that was not mention. It is spiritual. Paul had this to say to Timothy, "Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. But evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived." (II Timothy 3:12,13) This issue with Chick-Fil-A is not the beginning but an escalation of attacks on the tenets of our Christian faith. It is the intensifying push of acceptance of sin. We must go further than August 1. We must make clear our Bible based convictions. A pastor friend had this to say: "Let's have Jesus Appreciation Day every day." Yes. To appreciate Him in standing with and for Him. I pray that God will help me to teach my children to stand among intense pressure against the Christian faith by standing for myself. We can translate yesterday to a revival, but it must first begin in our heart. Before we can transform the spiritual pulse of America, we must start within ourselves. If we do not, then we can not expect revival. I can't wait to get to Chick-Fil-A again and have a delicious chicken sandwich, but more than that, I can't wait to go to God's house this Sunday and every Sunday and continue to exalt His name above all names. Now I must go one step farther, I can't wait to have Him use me daily for His cause and glory. August 1 and Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day has come and gone, but the spiritual battle continues. There is a line, we must ask ourselves the question of Moses to the children of Israel in Exodus 32:26, "Who is on the Lord's side?"

Sin in the Church

    When I write, I am usually found writing the things that weigh heavy on my heart with a weighty burden.  I am a pastor of a small church, I began this journey about 4 months ago.  One of the visions that I have for my church is to grow.  I want to see souls saved.  I want to see more people walk through the doors.  I want to see pews full.  I will go so far as to say I want to see us move into a bigger sanctuary so we can grow even more.  Over the years as I have delved deeper into the Word of God I have come to grips with many things.  Many of my convictions have “mellowed” out.  I used the term because I have been accused of compromising.  I use to be a hymns and Southern Gospel only, anything else is absolute worldly (I was taught this way) but I like a little Chris Tomlin every now and then, although Christian rock or rap will never be played on my radio (I have some major issues with them that needs a whole other lecture to see where I come from).  Women should not wear pants (again, another teaching) and on and on, the list could go.  There is one thing though that remains constant.  I can’t change it, because God hasn’t changed it.  It is clear in His word.  There in black and white, maybe even red if you have the words of Christ in the red letter edition.  Sin is sin!  We have become too accepting of it in our churches.  There is no level of sin.  There is no sin more acceptable in the eyes of God compared to another.  If it is considered sin in the eyes of God, it is sin.  We cannot change that TRUTH.  We can have opinions but opinions are bound to be wrong, Truth is fact.  It should be the foundation of every Christian belief.  God’s word is truth.  I am seeing churches and hearing stories of supposed Christians that misconstrue the Scriptures to validate their opinions.  Homosexuality is a big hit today.  It frightens me to hear people who acknowledge their “Christian” faith and uses the words of Jesus to their benefit.  Folks, homosexuality is a sin.  A close examination of Genesis 19 identifies one of the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah as homosexuality.  These other verses also help to identify homosexuality as sin: Romans 1:26-27, 32; I Timothy 1:8-10; Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13.  I once heard a well-known preacher with hundreds and thousands of followers say, “Homosexuality is a sin, but homosexuals will go to Heaven.”  This is contrary to I Corinthians 6:9-10.  So often I hear, “But Jesus teaches us to love one another”.  Yes He did, but nowhere in the Scriptures did He teach us to accept the sin.  In fact, He teaches us to rebuke it, especially in the church. “Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.” (Luke 17:3)  Repentance today is also different than the teachings of Christ.  More people are repentant simply because they got caught, not because they are living contrary to the Gospel. 

     To compare the wines and alcohol of today to the wine that Jesus made is to ignore a dynamic truth.  The drinks of today leads to drunkenness, the wine Jesus made actually cured those at the party of drunkenness.  I still cling to the truth that alcohol should not darken the lips of a Christian. A dear friend of mine named Van Mitchell, Jr. writes a wonderful commentary concerning this issue in which I whole heartedly agree with.

      Sin is sin.  That is not my truth, it is God’s truth.  That is a fact that will not change.  Simply because God will not change.  Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)  For the sake of growth and popularity, churches are becoming more accepting of what is considered morally wrong in the Scriptures.  It is not only morally wrong….it is sin.  I can’t compromise, change or mellow on that truth.  To do so is to ignore the responsibility God has given to me.  Paul expresses that responsibility in his letter to Timothy.  “But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully,  realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers and immoral men and homosexuals and kidnappers and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching, according to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, with which I have been entrusted.” (I Timothy 1:8-11)  What is my responsibility?  God has entrusted me with the gospel of Jesus Christ.  All of it!  Oh the heavy weight on this pastor’s shoulder as I have been entrusted with the Gospel truth.  I can’t accept sin.  Salvation is not just salvation from hell; it is a salvation from sin.  I am not building up a church for the sake of numbers; I am building up a church for the sake of the Gospel truth and for the Kingdom of God.  As I look at the Bible lying next to the laptop, I realize this sobering truth – I will be judged by it.  In closing I leave you with these words from James

For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all. For He who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not commit murder.” Now if you do not commit adultery, but do commit murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. So speak and so act as those who are to be judged by the law of liberty. (James 2:10-12)

Brought to Belleview: The Phone Call

We loved Ohio.  We envisioned our family growing up there.  Over the next several months, doors were opened in Michigan, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, other churches in Ohio, and upstate New York.  None of those places appealed to us like Ohio.  As Christmastime approached, our family still had no place to go.  In early December, I spent time in fasting and prayer and wondered if maybe God had intended for me to be in the work of evangelism.  I had no more churches scheduled.  We were going to spend the holidays in North Carolina.  I prayed that if that was the case, God would open some doors for me to preach.  As we traveled to NC, I began looking to the new year of 2012.  So far, I only had one church scheduled.  It was the second Sunday of January.  We were going to stop there on our way home.  It was a longer way home, but it did not matter.  We were going back to Ohio.  It was the very same church that I preached at way back in September of 2011.  The church that jump started it all.  On the trip, I vowed that I would lay it all on the altar, perform my God-given duty, and then let God deal with it. 

Christmas time was a joyous time for our family.  It was the first time in over 5 years that I had spent Christmas in my NC home.  The emotions from the rekindling memories flooded within me.  The weighty burden of preaching had escaped my thoughts and I was just glad to be back in NC.  Christmas fell on a Sunday in 2011, and I was so grateful to spend Christmas in the very church where I found Jesus as my Savior, answered the call to preach, and ordained into the ministry.  I listened to the grey haired minister who was my mentor share the hope and love of the Christmas story with the save and the unsaved.  Yes, I was home.  Maybe, God is leading me to a church closer to home. 

The next day I was asked to preach the first Sunday of the new year in a beautiful 450 seat Sanctuary.  I jumped on the occasion.  I now had two services lined up in January.  God was slowly opening doors.  I was excited.  I preached my heart out to those group of people who were awake enough from the previous night’s festivities to attend.  The sermon became my theme for 2012.  Four days later, our family left North Carolina after a two week stay and ventured to Ohio.  I was ready.  I knew in my heart this was it.  After a few days of wonderful fellowship with our new Ohio friends who we spent time with on the first trip, I laid it all on the altar.  True to my word, I left it in the hands of God.  As we packed up our family and belongings, we turn our van back home to our house located in the small village amid the cornfields in eastern Illinois.  We were emotionally, mentally, and physically spent.  We were ready to sleep in the comfort of our bed, let the kids enjoy their spacious playroom without fear of breaking anything, and to see where God would lead us.  As we neared the halfway point of our journey somewhere in Indiana, the cell phone rang.  We did not hear it.  As we stopped for a meal, my wife looked at her phone and read the number.  It was unfamiliar.  We did not recognize the number.  Later we found out, the call came from Minnesota.

Brought to Belleview - A Plan and a Place

When I returned home after quitting my job, I walked into my home and saw my family of four waiting at the door.  I fell on my knees and grabbed the nearest child and buried my face into her neck.  I sobbed lightly.  Did I make a mistake?  Should I call them back and apologize and plead with them to take me back?  My wife put her arms around me and whispered into my ears, “I love you and I am proud of you”.  I looked into her eyes and smiled and squeezed her hand.  I laid on the floor and allowed my children to climb over me, it was their favorite thing to do with their father.  After the kids were put to bed, my wife and I spent some time alone in prayer and meditation. We were not certain what to do.  We knew God had something in mind for us, but we were not sure what.  We knew it was in the ministry, but we were not sure where.  I carefully planned out a speaking tour and asked God to give me some churches to speak at.  One of my closest friends asked me what I was going to do.  With feigned confidence, I boasted, “God will give me something in two weeks.”

Two weeks was coming to a close and I had contacted many churches.  My wife had traveled with a group of church women for the “Women of Faith” conference.  That night as I was at home alone with the children, after putting them to bed I checked my email.  There was one in my inbox.  Before I opened the email, I prayed:

“God, I place my trust in you.  I know you have a plan and a place for my family.  Show us where you would have us to go.  My faith is the size of a mustard seed and I am doing everything I can to hold on to it and let it grow.  Give me a church to preach at Lord.”

I opened the email.  It was from a church in north central Ohio that I had contacted a few days before.  They were looking for a pastor but they were also looking for preachers to come to the church to fill-in on Sundays.  I volunteered my services.  They were interested in having me.  My heart leaped within my soul.  Tears of joy welled into the corner of my eyes.  I wiped my eyes and read the letter and reread the letter.  I raised my hand in glory and praised God.  I called April and shared with her the news.  I could tell on the other end that she was as relieved and as excited as I was.  It had been exactly two weeks since my proclamation uttered with feigned confidence.  We set the date of September 18.  It was only the beginning.  God had opened many other opportunities.  Some have shut but others remained opened.  The month leading up to my first speaking engagement was a whirlwind.  It was also a blessed time of rest and relaxation for April and I as a friend volunteered to keep our kids for the weekend.  We would be alone.  We stayed in a hotel not far from the shores of Lake Erie.  We napped, we ate, and we napped some more and we enjoyed the sights the area had to offer.  That Saturday night was filled with laughter and blessed fellowship along with delicious food including Cotton Candy ice cream.  It was over too soon.  A task still laid before me.  I was to preach.  That night, I could not sleep.  I spent the late hours in prayer and meditation as I focused on the task ahead of me. 

On Sunday morning we made the 35 minute drive to the church amid the farmland of north central Ohio.  We came to a beautiful older but well-kept church atop a gentle sloped terrain.  The spirit within the church was sweet.  I gave it everything I had and trusted the Spirit to work within the hearts of the people.  After saying goodbye to the wonderful folks, we began our return home to our kids who were waiting for us.  I looked over to April and smiled.  She looked back and smiled in return and then said “I can see us there.”

Brought to Belleview - Like an Eagle

I have been at my job for well over 4 years.  I was only a few months removed from my five year anniversary.  The stability of my home and job was all I needed, I thought.  I worked to gain the respect of many of my fellow associates and the management team.  I did the only thing I knew how to do as taught by my mother and father.  Go to work every day and do above and beyond what you are required and do it with respect.  In late May and early June, the dynamics changed, hours were being cut back and gas prices were being raised.  Suddenly, the financial aspect of employment was leaving very little breathing room.  What had once been a nice cushion suddenly became thinner and thinner.  Yet, I refuse to let it deter me.  I drove to work each day and gave my all.  I was defiant to anything else.  Just go to work and come home, go to work and come home, my life had basically become a broken record.  God was not finished.  As each day passed, He pressed upon my heart more earnestly the call to the ministry.  He wanted to lead me to a different aspect in ministry and life.  I wrestled with Him.  It was not feasible for me I argued.  I have a job and a family support.  I don’t have the time to look for a church or churches to speak at.   One day, after a day off work, I went through my daily paper work and a red flag was raised.  A personal deal had transpired on a manger’s car that was borderline theft.  I brought the matter to the attention of the higher management team which called for an investigation.  After a week long ordeal the matter was settled, but not in the minds of the manager and those who were involved.  Whatever pleasure and happiness I had from work were quickly sapped out of the workplace.  A month passed as I endured the changed emotional dynamic of the workplace another dishonest issue came up.  It became the final straw.  I called my wife to seek her counsel and console.  She said something to me that I still remember this day: “You know what God wants; this could be His showing you to let it go”.  After I got off the phone, I did the only other thing I knew to do.  I prayed.  Then I realized the sermon that I preached on the eagle the summer before.  An eagle lines her nest with leaves or any other soft scraps that she is able to salvage in preparation for the eaglet and to make the nest a place of comfort.  After the eaglet has hatched and the time has come for the eaglet to learn to fly the mother eagle will lead them from the nest.  Every so often there is a stubborn one.  He refuses to leave the comfort of his nest which hinders his ability to learn to fly.  The mother eagle would hover her wings over the nest and the violent force of wind from her flapping her long wingspan would simply blow away and remove the items of comfort.  The eaglet has now lost its comfort zone.  It is left with no other option but to leave the nest.  I was the stubborn eaglet.  I had become rooted to my comfort zone.  My nest had been stirred and God had removed my comforts.  I walked into the manager’s office and explained to them my feelings and shook his hand and turned in my badge.  As I walked out of the building, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders.  I felt free.  I felt like I could fly.  My nest had been stirred and I was now flying with wings like an eagle.  To where?  I didn’t know, but I was simply waiting on God.

Brought to Belleview - Time To Let It Go

When the twins came, I became so preoccupied with the joys of being a father of newborn twins.  The previous statement should have been read with a touch of sarcasm.  Yes, I did love the softness of the skin when they cuddled and slept in my arms.  There was the curious eyes taking in the new environment that April and I have had been familiar with over time.  It is the late nights I was struggling with.  On top of that, two weeks after their birth I had taken on a new promoted position at work with added responsibilities and changing hours which caused me to miss much of my girls.  Everything else just became an afterthought, including the ministry.  All I knew was in I was going to finish my time as a youth leader and take a little off my plate. 

What happened?  I knew I was going to stop.  I knew that I would not be doing it anymore.  Somehow, I committed to another year of service as the youth leader.  God was reminding me that He was not done with me yet.  Four months after I committed to another year of service to the church, April and I received a phone call that left us in surprised.  We were in the final stages of preparing our new home in which we purchased a few weeks before for our thriving and energetic family of four.  For me it took a while to accept our new house since we moved further from the church and my job.  We truly believed that this home was for our family four but now we have been proven wrong again.  The home would now be a home for a family of five.  Less than 9 months after the birth of our twins, we received the unexpected news that April is pregnant.  Suddenly, my plate became even fuller as I pondered the preparations needed for the arrival of our third child.  What ministry? 

When our son was born, I was off work for two weeks to help my wife around the house as she recovered from the delivery by C-section.  During that time, as I was away from worked and other distractions and my focus was on my young family, I spent much quiet time with God in between sleeps.  During those times, God was not quiet.  He was slowly but surely working within me.  As I pondered my website ministry and the youth ministry, my mind began dwelling on His will for my family and I.  By this time, I had told the church that I will not be serving in the role of a youth leader.  I simply needed a break.  I began searching for churches looking for a pastor to see what options there were but was not fully ready to take that next step.  I had a job.  I have a family of five to help support.  I had neither the time nor the money to search for a pastorate.  After two weeks, I was back at work, but my heart was emptier than it ever had been before.  I was blessed with a wife.  I was blessed with three small children.  I had long given up the promoted position to spend more time with the family and the church and took a leadership role in a department and I was still able to spend time with the church and my plate was less full as I stepped back and let a young Bible college graduate take over the role as the teen leader.  There was still something missing: God’s plan for my life.  Each day I went to work passed, the noose was getting tighter.  I was allowing something to hold me back and God was slowly crumbling the walls around me.  It was as if God was saying, “It’s time to let it go”.  A pillar that I had rested on for several years was now falling.